Your wedding vows are one of the most important aspects of your big day. It’s one of the only times you’ll ever get to declare your love and devotion to the most important person in your life in front of all your friends and family. Many couples take the opportunity to forego traditional vows and write their own, bringing a personal quality to their ceremony that is unique and creates intimacy. We’ve witnessed hundreds of amazing vows and know how much more powerful and dynamic they can make your wedding film.

While it’s certainly an occasion that incites joy and happiness, writing your vows can also be quite nerve wracking. It can be difficult to know what to say, particularly if verbally expressing your feelings in front of a crowd makes you nervous just thinking about it. If this sounds like you, keep reading! Here’s some of our favorite vows for inspiration, as well as five tips on how to craft your own.

1. Reflect on Your Relationship

Before you put pen to paper, reflect on your relationship with your partner, thinking about specific reasons you love them and what you want to promise them. If you have ever kept a journal, this is a perfect opportunity to look back on what you’ve written about your sweetheart and to jog your memory about specific stories and moments from your time together. It’s helpful to think about some of your favorite dates, travel experiences, and any significant moments you’ve had as a couple. Take note of the little things about your partnership that you love and that makes you two unique. It’s nice to thank your beloved for all they do for you, so reflect on the ways they make you a better person and what makes them such a great match for you.

Watch Emma + Josh’s Feature Film here | Venue: Maysara Winery | Photo: Allison Harp

2. Nail the Intro

Oftentimes, the hardest part of writing your vows is knowing how to begin them. It can be helpful to simply start by saying you love your fiancé and listing a few reasons why. You can also start with what you want to thank them for or a story from early on in your relationship, such as what your first impression was of your spouse. To relieve some of the pressure you may feel in the moment, it can also help to start with a funny story or comment.

Watch Tyler + Shawn’s film here | Venue: Private residence in Silverton, OR | Photo: Lyde & Wright

3. Personalize It

Turning to the internet for inspiration and advice on how to write your vows when you’re struggling to find your own words is a good idea (After all, that’s what brought you here!) However, when you find something you like, take the time to make them your own words and add personal touches that speak to your relationship. Think about what makes your partner unique and specific things about them that make you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Telling a few concise stories is a great way to personalize your vows, whether it be how you met or funny situations you’ve made it through together.

Watch Katherine + Zachary’s Feature Film here | Venue: Waverley Country Club | Photo: Ben Pigao

4. Relax

By now you’ve probably watched several wedding films and been to a few weddings where you’ve heard personal vows. It would be understandable if you feel overwhelmed by possibilities. You may feel like your vows have to be funny or emotional or long or short. Don’t worry about trying to write them a certain way. This will only make them more challenging to write and more nerve-wracking to speak on the day. We always want to capture you looking your best, so if you’re cool, calm, and collected, it will show through on camera and make your film even stronger. Writing vows the way you want to makes staying calm much easier. That being said, it’s difficult to know exactly how you’ll feel in the moment. Reassure yourself that whatever emotions come up are perfectly normal. We’ve seen the broadest range of emotions and can tell you that there’s no wrong way to feel. Don’t add more stress to your plate by worrying about whether you’ll cry when saying your vows.

Watch Jade + Dennis’ film here | Venue: Private residence in West Linn, OR | Photo: Ellie Asher

5. Be True to Yourself

The most important thing to remember when you write vows is that they should feel true to your relationship. Don’t be afraid to play to your strengths. For example, if humor is your strong suit and a significant aspect of your relationship, go for it and write some sincerely funny vows. This is one of the only times it will feel natural to express your feelings in such a formal way. If you start writing and it doesn’t feel natural or sound like you, think about what you want to express. Speak from the heart. The best vows happen when you’re being your most authentic self and your personality is shining through your words. It shows on camera, and thus makes your film feel even more personal and unique to you.

Watch Devan + Joe’s Feature Film here | Venue: Rhododendron Garden & Treasury Ballroom | Photo: Hazelwood Photo